Tuesday, November 10, 2009

In Which I Discuss My Brain...or Lack Thereof

So, apparently I'm suffering from blogger's block lately as exemplified by my lack of posting anything for well over a week...which is unfortunate because it is definitely not due to a lack of experiences to record.

In fact, I haven't even taken the opportunity to share with you all how I have obtained newly acquired scientific evidence that my brain is slowly dissolving away. Ok, so maybe using the word "scientific" isn't entirely accurate, but I do believe standing next to the wrong mini-van in the preschool parking lot last Thursday morning, desperately pushing the button on my clicker, yet not comprehending why the automatic doors refused to open despite the loud beeping noise coming from across the parking lot, is proof enough that the brain cells that were once fully intact inside my skull are most definitely dissolving into thin air.

In case the above example is not evidence enough...

I was at Wal-Mart a week and a half ago to pick up some more diapers for Zach and I stood in the middle of the diaper aisle for no less than 10 minutes while racking my less than fully functioning brain trying to remember exactly what size diapers we buy. As I stood there, staring at the plethora of choices, I remember becoming extremely irritated over the increasing price tag (along with the decreasing number of diapers included), subsequently found myself wondering where Zach's potty training switch is located so that we could just flip it on and be done with all the blasted diapers for good, before quickly deciding upon and grabbing a jumbo box of size 3 Pampers.

After an entire week's worth of mornings waking up to a little boy with soaked pj's and crib sheets, after also having fully vented my utter frustration regarding Pamper's complete lack of absorbency quality and continued attempts to rip us off, Ben kindly consulted the diaper size and gently reminded me that Zach hasn't worn a size 3 since he was 8 months old...Zach is now 25 months old. So, I relayed the above story to Ben about not being able to remember the correct diaper size in the middle of the Wal-Mart diaper aisle and he sweetly asked why I just didn't look at the size on the diaper Zach was wearing at the time. Fighting the urge to blow steam from both my ears, I instead blamed the whole unfortunate incident on the steady depletion of what little healthy brain cells I have remaining.

Further proof of my malfunctioning brain cells include:

  1. Putting a bib on Allie the other day before lunch and setting a sippy cup of milk in front of her. She looked at me like I was a crazed lunatic, politely asked if I would take the bib off, give her a real cup instead, and patiently reminded me that she is almost four years old and has not worn a bib or used a sippy cup since she was two.
  2. Closing the garage door the other day while the van was inside with the back hatch still opened (again, I know, I believe this has to be at least the 4th time...shhh...don't tell Ben...I can't have him thinking I've lost all my marbles). In my defense, the garage door clicker we have looks an awful lot like the van clicker and it was definitely my intention to push the van clicker...so you can imagine my shock at pressing the clicker button only to see the garage door begin to close instead of the back door of the van.
  3. Washing my hair no less than 3 times in the shower this morning because I couldn't remember if I had washed it yet.
  4. Losing my cell phone on a walk outside a couple weeks ago and not even realizing it was missing until my dad called me at home and left a message because some weird kid called him at work to let him know that I had lost my cell phone.

I would love to be able to provide you with concrete reasoning behind the sudden dissolution of my brain. I have lots of ideas: tiredness, stress, aging, raising two kids and a husband, pregnancy (haha...gotcha there...just kidding...no, just to clarify, I am NOT pregnant). But, alas, I cannot pinpoint the exact impetus for my brain loss.

The only hope I have is that there are others out there experiencing the same phenomenon. If you are one of them, please comment. I need to know I'm not alone.

1 comment:

Kari said...

Alright Jen, since you feel completely alone with this post, I figured I would respond :P I totally have those moments as well, when you search for your glasses til you realize they are on top of your head, or your keys, which you realize you were holding in your left hand the whole time, or even whether or not you put all your necessary items on after taking a shower...I do have those days as well.../sigh, are we getting old?