Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Weight Loss/Maintenance Update

Due to lack of blog posts recently, I realized I haven't provided a weight maintenance/weight-loss/healthy living update in quite some time. Despite the fact that I have a new found obsession with peanut butter (which is weird because I haven't really enjoyed peanut butter with this much gusto since I was about 5 years old), things are going pretty well.
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I managed to secure my lifetime membership with Weight Watcher's last week, meaning that I have maintained my goal weight for the necessary six week period. Strangely enough, I was worried that I wouldn't make lifetime membership not because I would weigh in 2 pounds over goal weight, but because I would weigh in 2 pounds under goal weight. If you are more than 2 pounds in either direction, lifetime membership is withheld until you are between those parameters. So, I made sure to wear several layers of clothing (just in case) to my weigh in, but it wasn't necessary since I weighed exactly 2 pounds below my goal weight. Now, to maintain lifetime membership status, all I have to do is weigh in once a month. Easy enough, huh?
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In other news, I had to go jeans shopping again. Crazy. I am now officially wearing a pant size that I have never, EVER, worn before (4 sizes smaller than last year at this time). In fact, I look at the new pants and jeans in my closet and still can't believe that they fit me. They all look so small. Yesterday as I was boxing up and re-organizing all my too-big clothes I couldn't help but think that I must be crazy because everything looked like it would fit just fine. I had to try on a couple pairs of pants one more time just to prove to myself that they indeed did not t fit (and yes, they fell completely off my hips).
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Ben says he thinks my problem is that I have a "fat mental image." Well, I guess that could be the problem, but I'm honestly more concerned about the fact that it seems my husband has a secret obsession with watching Dr. Phil and Oprah in his free time.
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In all seriousness, though, I think Ben may be on to something. I have spent the last 8-9 years of my life being overweight and wearing plus size clothing. In a way, it is what I became comfortable with. And, honestly, even though I knew I wasn't skinny, I was in complete denial about being overweight. I had pretty much convinced myself I was healthy and when I looked in the mirror, I saw something completely different than what everyone else saw. That is one reason why I didn't initiate a lifestyle change sooner: I wasn't convinced there was a problem.
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So, although I know that I am not overweight anymore (obviously the scale, my clothes, my activity level, and blood sugar levels can all testify to that truth), I definitely don't feel skinny. Is that weird? Don't worry, I have definitely not gone all psycho with the desire to lose more and more weight at the expense of my health. I am happy at my goal weight, I know I am making healthy choices right now, and I feel physically great. I just also still feel like I'm the fat one...to the extent that I will often do a double take at the reflection in the mirror just to make sure it is really me staring back.
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Obviously my mind has a bit of catching up to do with my body in this respect. I'm sure it will just take a little more time before I can eye a pair of pants at the store and know whether or not they will fit.
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So, while I'm waiting on that to happen, I am going to come up with a whole lotta healthy ways to incorporate peanut butter into my maintenance plan....

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