Thursday, July 29, 2010

Baby Comments and Inquiries

The impending arrival of a new sibling this Fall combined with my ever-growing stomach has resulted in lots of comments, observations, and questions by the kids in regards to their new baby sister.
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Zach seems happiest to merely observe out loud the wonders of pregnancy by proclaiming the presence of a baby in my stomach and then asking if he can "pat" her. He then proceeds to gently pat my belly, but then it always seems to escalate to rather firm pats that are more reminiscent of punches (and honestly, I'm getting punched and kicked enough from the inside, I don't need it from the outside as well) and have to be quickly redirected.
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He also happily announced last week that his mommy is now the proud owner of a "Kung-Fu Panda Belly." And, just in case you don't know who Kung-Fu Panda is, he is a ginormous, talking, animated panda that performs sweet ninja-moves with a gelatinous, jiggling belly. Definitely just the thing that I wanted to be compared to.
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Anyway, I still think Zach is a little confused, though, as to where this baby is actually coming from. Whenever we get together with friends that have baby girls, Zach always inquires if their little girl is our baby. In fact, the other week, he even asked me if we could just share my friend's baby girl!
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Allie, always the inquisitive one, has had a million and one questions about her sister. We've talked about how the baby moves and sleeps in my tummy. She's expressed concern over the fact that her sister must be bored "in there" because she has no toys and nothing to do. Allie's enamored by the fact that her sister can hear her voice, but is a little disconcerted that she can't see through my tummy (because how will we know if she likes her new room or not?!).
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The best (and most memorable) conversation to date, though, occurred last night over a before bed time snack. I'll try my best to recreate it as follows.
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Allie: So when is the baby coming out again?
Me: In the fall, after Zach's birthday.
Zach: I want a Buzz Birthday!
Me: Ok, Zach, that's a good idea, you can have a Buzz Birthday.
Allie: And, where are we going again when the baby comes?
Ben: To stay with Grandma and Grandpa while we go to the hospital.
Zach: But I'll miss Mommy and Daddy!
Me: I know and we'll miss you too, but then when the baby comes, you both can come to the hospital and meet her.
Allie: (taking her time, obviously something is troubling her) But, how will the baby come out, Mom?
Ben: Silence. A bit of panic on his face.
Allie: Mom?
Me: Well, God just makes the baby come out when she is ready.
Allie: But, HOW MOM? HOW can she get out of there???
Ben: Staring right at me. COMPLETE PANIC.
Me: Well, she comes out of a mommy's bottom.
Allie: What?! Are you joking with me?
Me: No, Allie, that is how God made mommies.
Allie: Do you mean she comes out your butt, like poop?
Zach: POOP?! Poop is disgusting.
Ben: Now laughing....silently. And, making absolutely NO effort to help me out!
Me: No, Allie, the baby does not come out a mommy's butt.
Allie: But, the other hole is NOT big enough for a baby to come out of, Mom.
Me: Well, God made it so the hole gets bigger so the baby can fit.
Allie: Oh. So, do you get to see her come out?
Me: No.
Allie: Why not?
Me: Because I can't see down there.
Allie: So, can I see her come out then?
Me: No, only mommies and daddies and doctors and nurses are in the room.
Allie: And, I have to stay with Grandma and Grandpa?
Me: Yes.
Zach: But, I want to see the baby!
Me: You will, AFTER she comes out.
Allie: Of your bottom, right?
Me: Yes, Allie.
Allie: But, not out of your butt, like poop?
Zach: POOP!? HA? (now laughing hysterically...seriously, what is it with boys and poop?!)
Allie: No, not out of your butt like poop.
Ben: (Through peals of his own laughter) Ok! I think it is probably bath time now!
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Here's hoping we get a little more preparation and many fewer follow-up questions when she does decide to ask how the baby got in my tummy in the first place.

1 comment:

Allison said...

I am so thankful that Elizabeth accepted my non-answer: "When the baby is ready to come out, we go to the hospital and the doctors take her out." ("How?") ("At the hospital.") ("How does she get out at the hospital?") ("The doctors take her out.") And so on!