I just wanted to check in real quick (while the two big kids are dancing to Lori Berkner in the downstairs playroom and the poor babe who is sick with a nasty cold is peacefully taking another nap) to let you know that we are indeed alive and well!
We spent the last two-and-a-half weeks living with my parents while our one and only bathroom was being remodeled. In fact, I can hardly believe that today is April 1! In my mind, March 2011 will always be known as...drum roll please...THE MONTH OF THE BATHROOM.
Anyway, although the bathroom is still yet to be finished (meaning we are brushing our teeth and washing our hands in the kitchen sink for now), we finally moved back home this past Wednesday to a working shower and toilet. And while we enjoyed our time with my parents, especially the part where I didn't really have to cook a meal for two-and-a-half weeks (thanks, Mom!), there truly is no place like home.
Ben also just returned from a business trip in Kansas City. After the bathroom ordeal and a whole slew of cancelled flights, delayed flights, and re-routed flights, he too is more than happy to be home.
We are continuing to settle back into normal home life...while all the construction dust continues to settle as well. We did a MAJOR cleaning before our return, but yet there seems to be more dust making its appearance by the hour. I'm tired of all the dust. Actually, I'm tired of all the upheaval in my house due to the remodel.
And, while I'm at it, I'm tired of parenting a three-year-old who seems to know how to push every single one of my buttons. I'm tired of the snow (although, it seems that may be disappearing any day now). I'm tired of all the noise and yelling...of constantly playing referee to my 5 and 3 year old. I'm tired of dirty laundry...and the piles of clean laundry to be folded. I'm tired of poopy diaper blow outs and spit up down my shirt that soaks all the way through to my bra. I'm tired of exercising and trying to eat right. And seriously, now I'm tired of blogging...especially as this post has seemed to morph into a depressing complain-a-thon.
Don't get me wrong...I love my family and my home and my life. It's just that sometimes, let's be real...it all makes me very tired. And, when I get tired, I feel superbly inadequate. And, for someone with perfectionist tendencies like myself, it can make me feel like a complete failure. I guess I end up feeling like I have so many responsibilities to juggle...that I have to be and do certain things for all these people who depend on me, all while maintaining joy and patience...and no matter how hard I try, I will never measure up.
I know this is the point where I should probably insert some inspirational scripture reference or some epiphany regarding how I get through these "tired" slumps. But, today I have none. I've gotten through today by whispering prayers of "Help...God...please...I seriously cannot do this without You."
And, I know He does....because it is almost 5:00 pm and we are all still alive and well. I even had time to draw a zebra, giraffe, and portrait of our family with Allie. I was able to cuddle with my poor sick baby. I was able to kiss my finally napping boy who didn't seem nearly as crabby all curled up on his race car bed with his thumb in his mouth. And, any moment now I'll get to see my best friend walking through the door.
It wasn't a perfect day...it never is...but I needed God. And, I think that is probably just the kind of day He wanted me to have.