Sunday, December 21, 2014

Trying Desperately to Catch Up

I'm not quite sure what to do with this blog anymore.  I love writing and in the past this blog has always provided a great outlet for me to document our lives while sorting through all of my experiences.  However, over the past couple years, it has mostly turned into a smattering of photographs with quick captions in a frantic effort to somehow document the passing time. 

Time is a funny thing.  When I first started this blog I was at a time in my life with a baby who refused to sleep at night and a three year old who seemed to need my constant attention from sunrise to sunset.  I was told to cherish this time in my life, each and every moment with my babes, because it would pass by so quickly.  Every time someone uttered those sage words of wise advice, I would just nod and smile, not understanding in the least because for me at that moment in my life, time was passing sooooo incredibly S...L...O...W.....

I loved my babies and I wouldn't trade a moment I spent with them, but I often felt confined to my home and the monotony of taking care of them felt draining.  This blog kept me sane.  It helped me find the humor and the joy in those long early days.  It helped me sort through my emotions and struggles as I was learning to become a mom. 

Fast forward six years and somehow my babies grew into big kids.  Big kids who go to school and swim lessons.  Big kids who have big ideas and opinions of their own and big questions that I often do not know how to answer.  Big kids with friends and social agendas.  Big kids who read and write and have homework. 

Today that advice which once seemed so completely insane to me just nine years ago is finally starting to make sense.  To me, it has become a reminder to love my kids in the here and now...for who they are at this exact moment in time, the good with the bad, because they will never be the same again.  It is a call to not always live for the future of what will be and get stuck in the cycle of thinking things will be better once.....once he can sleep through the night, once she can just not be so emotional about everything, once she can wipe her butt on her own, or once he can stop complaining about every single piece of food I put on his plate.  But instead, finding peace and rest in where God has me and my family right now by placing my trust in the One who actually knows the future instead of myself and my plans for the future. 

So, all that to say, I'm not sure what is going to happen with this blog.  It is clear that I do not need it for the same purpose it served when I first began.  But, for now, it is still the primary way I have to organize our family's memories.  My time has just been needed elsewhere...and now I have 2 months worth of pictures and memories to update! 

Starting with....our annual fall family photos with our very favorite photographer, Karen Feder!

Karen always does an amazing job of capturing our family just the way we are!  We love all of the photos we have from her each year. 


Soccerbelle said...

I used to blog and I did it mainly to help me sort out my emotions - from an overly demanding job and moving into the empty nest stage of life. No one ever read it, yet it provided me an outlet for a tangible way to process my thoughts. Sometime when you read your thoughts you suddenly gain clarify. At the end of the day, this blog is yours to use as you wish - private or public.

Soccerbelle said...

Oops - I meant you gain clarity!